Trauma Bonding

What Is Trauma Bonding?

A trauma bond is an emotional attachment between an abuser and a victim after repeated violence.

According to a study in Sage Journals, a trauma bond usually occurs because of:

• The power imbalance favoring the abuser
• Abusers use of positive and negative interactions
• Victim’s gratitude for positive interactions and self-blame for negative interactions
• Victim’s internalization of abuser’s views
• Prior trauma that makes the victim vulnerable
• Victim’s feelings of love, even after the abuse ends
• Abuser’s intentional cultivation of the trauma bond

The research shows that empathy plays a large role in creating a trauma bond.

There have been 2 types of empathy identified:

1. Affective empathy: This type involves understanding the emotions of others.
2. Cognitive empathy: This involves understanding someone’s perspective

Studies suggest that the combination of both these types of empathy helps to create a trauma bond. One theory states that a trauma bond is an unresolved form of insecure attachment.

How to Heal From Trauma Bonding?

There are several ways to heal trauma bonding. Some interventions our therapists like to utilize based on research include:

• Emotion-focused couples therapy (EFT): EFT focuses on restructuring the attachment style. This form of therapy aims to help couples better understand each other’s emotions.
• Trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This intervention aims to identify the negative beliefs that were formed as a result of trauma bonding. The therapist then helps the client to reframe those beliefs.
• Rational emotive behavioral therapy (REBT): REBT helps clients identify their expectations and “shoulds,” also known as irrational beliefs, and disprove them to evoke positive well-being.

Talk to your therapist about different therapy interventions they specialize in. Your therapist will recommend a combination of psychoeducation and interventions best suited for your situation.

What Is Trauma Bonding With a Narcissist?

Trauma bonding with a narcissist is common. This typically happens because the narcissistic abuser uses a combination of positive and negative experiences. The narcissist may use manipulation tactics such as gaslighting, love-bombing, and devaluation. The victim ends up viewing the positive experiences as valuable and begins relying on the abuser. The victim may have difficulty leaving the relationship with the narcissist due to fear, emotional attachment, and a distorted perception of the narcissist.

How to Avoid Trauma Bonding?

Stopping the cycle of abuse can be difficult. In our experience, having support is always beneficial.

Here are some things you can do to stop or avoid trauma bonding:

• Educate yourself: Learning about the manipulative tactics abusers use and becoming aware of them in your life is the first step.
• Set boundaries: Boundaries allow other people to know how you would like to be treated. One of the most important aspects of setting boundaries is enforcing them.
• Focus on self-care: Learning to love and care for yourself is one of the most important things you can do to prevent future abuse and trauma bonding.
• Seek support: Build a support system of people who have your best interests at heart. This can be your family, friends, your therapist, and a support group.
• Create a safety plan: If you are currently in an abusive situation, your therapist can help you create a plan if you’re in immediate danger.

Trauma bonding is not your fault. These things are important to know if you are experiencing emotional or psychological abuse. Awareness is key. Once you acknowledge the abuse, you can seek help from loved ones and a professional who can help you develop a plan. 

What Are Trauma Bonding Signs?

Here are some things that may indicate the presence of trauma bonding:

• Mixed emotions: If you experience highs and lows in your relationship, this is typically a sign that you are in an abusive relationship.
• Rationalizing: You may find yourself making excuses for the abuser’s behavior or minimizing it.
• Isolation: You feel you cannot spend time with people you were once close with, like friends or family.
• Difficulty leaving: You try to leave but something keeps making you come back to the relationship.
• Loss of self-esteem: You may find it difficult to accept and love yourself.

Trauma bonding diminishes your self-esteem and confidence. If you feel something is off in your relationship, those feelings are valid. A therapist can help you identify what you truly want out of the situation and build the confidence to accomplish it.

What Is Trauma Bonding in Friendships?

Trauma bonding in friendships usually occurs when friends go through a traumatic experience; they sometimes feel closer as a result of surviving such a difficult situation together. This may cause friends to be emotionally reliant on each other. This may result in unhealthy coping mechanisms, difficulty setting boundaries, and fear of abandonment. These relationships are usually codependent.

Break free from the cycle of trauma bonding and reclaim your emotional well-being with our tailored therapy approach. Our dedicated trauma therapists, equipped with trauma therapy expertise, are here to help you navigate the complexities of relationship trauma. Take the steps to heal, establish healthy boundaries, and cultivate self-care. Call today to schedule your trauma bonding therapy in West Palm Beach.